A Single Woman's Journey To Motherhood


Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

An update

Well, my mom left again this morning. I was in such a better place emotionally this time. Of course, I was sad to see her go, and I will miss having an extra set of arms to hold Ellie while I get things done around the house, but I can deal with things so much better now I think.

I can't believe that on Friday, Eliana will be 4 weeks old. FOUR WEEKS!?! Where has the time gone? Before I know it, my mom will be back and I will be headed back off to work. I do like my job a lot, but of course I love my little bundle of joy so much more...

We continue to have supply issues with nursing. Just when I think things are getting better, it seems like maybe they aren't. What likely happened, I suppose, is that things DID improve, but just at the time when Ellie is going through her 3 week growth spurt, so I just can't keep up. She loves to nurse though, and I am happy about that. Hopefully if I keep putting her on, with the combination of now a prescription medication to help milk supply, hopefully, I will one day catch up. I think my dreams of pumping and storing for when I go back to work is not likely to happen, but if I can get to enough for her needs now, and enough to not dry up in those 4.5 weeks I go back to work before summer break, then I will be happy.

She is such a contented baby. Really. She only cries when there is something wrong: a diaper that needs to be changed, she is hungry, and sometimes gas pains. Those last cries are the worst, because you can see she is in so much pain and there is just nothing you can do but hold her and comfort her and your heart just breaks...

To those who wonder, it is definitely all worth it. To feel that warm little ball curled up on your chest sleeping peacefully, to stare into her eyes as she looks up to you...there is nothing better in the world.

Just the two of us

Just the two of us
Originally uploaded by kajohn345.
A picture of the two of us...Eliana at 10 days old.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Grandma couldn't stay away...

LOL. So Friday (Ellie's due date!) was a busy day. We had a pediatric appointment for her two week checkup, went to the school to help my sub with grades (and to show off my little cutie!), and then a friend came down from Vancouver with her husband and kids and a HUGE load of clothes! LOL.

Before my friend arrived, I tried to give my mom a call to give her the weight report on Ellie. (she gained back to her birth weight and beyond! woohoo!) There was no answer and I thought to myself..."I wonder if she decided to come back after all (she had told me the day before she was considering it until she started to get a cold...). Sure enough when I got home from visiting with my friend at the mall, my dad called to ask if she was here yet. Yep, grandma couldn't stay away. :)

It is nice to have an extra set of hands/arms and she will be here for a week, so I may not get a lot of online time just because I will be visiting more I suspect.

All is well here. But I was just told that Ellie is hungry again (well, all is not well..still having supply issues, but that isn't the end of the world...), so I must go!

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Originally uploaded by kajohn345.
This bassinet is somewhat of a family heirloom. It was used by my mom and her brother as babies, me, and now my daughter. My mom made the beautiful covering and lining the week after Ellie was born.

A funny thing happened..

A funny happened just now. I discovered I have become a mom. LOL. I woke up about 5 minutes ago or so, on my own, not to the baby crying. Thought I had her in my arms in bed (which I rarely do because I am scared I will fall asleep, drop her and roll over her) and then felt around for her head so that I could better support it as I got up, only to find I was cradling a pillow in my arms, not a baby. Panic. Where is the baby?? Asleep in her cradle of course...provided she is still alive..she looked so peaceful I am not entirely certain she is really alive LOL. In any case, I know, I know, sleep when she sleeps, and I will head back to bed soon here especially since she only finally fell asleep at 3:00 am (2 hours ago)...but I was hungry and am taking advantage of being able to eat my cereal right now. :)

I still encourage anyone who thinks I should have their email address in my address book to email me sometime so that I can have your address...otherwise, if you never hear from me again, know that I just may have no way of contacting you anymore!

OK, done my cereal, and heading off to bed..praying she is still alive...almost tempted to wake her to find out LOL.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


What a day from hell Sunday was...not only did my parents leave and the baby blues jump in right away, but my computer crashed shortly after posting that message. Bare with me as I try and catch up..and please send me an email sometime in the next week if you are someone with whom I generally email since I lost EVERYTHING (email addresses, files, pictures, etc) when my hard drive died..

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Quick update

A little update while she sleeps. Ellie went from 6lbs2oz at birth to 5.9 at her pediatrician appointment so they were concerned about her weight loss. (it is normal to lose, but the percentage of loss was higher than normal). We were also have latch problems (and continue to have sometimes) and she would not wake up very often to feed. So, the ped had me waking her up every 2 hours to first nurse her and then follow up with formula. I was very very sad as I did not want to formula feed, but obviously I want her to be healthy. She also had some labs done and she was a bit jaundiced, but not enough for intervention, just for a repeat lab.

We have seen lactation twice in the hospital and twice out of the hospital and continue to have problems. I am quite upset about this as I don't know what is best anymore. I mean, I know that it is best to breastfeed, but how can I tell when she gets enough? Pretty much anytime we give her a bottle of formula, she drinks 1-1.5 ounces, twice she drank all 2 ounces...that says to me that she isn't getting enough from me.

My parents left this morning at 6:30am. It was sad to see them go. I have been fighting the baby blues for a couple days, but the tears came pouring out when they left...it hasn't helped that Eliana does not let me sleep at night and was so fussy this morning after my parents left...they wouldn't believe me if I told them how fussy she was. She is finally asleep now after feeding every hour for bout 3 hours and heading into Safeway to buy the paper because I thought her birth announcement would be there, but it must be next week since all the births in there were from the end of February. I wanted to stay at the store forever as she was finally sleeping...I know, I know, sleep when the baby sleeps, but anytime I lay her down to do just that, she wakes up...

I think this post sounds pretty depressing, but we are fine and she is still the cutest little baby I have ever seen...her mom just needs some sleep I think. :)

Sunday, March 05, 2006

She's here!

Don't have time to write as I hear her crying in the next room. Check out her pictures at: Eliana's First Photos

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Induction set!

Saw the OB today. The stats this morning are: 1.5cm, 50% effaced, -2 station.

I go in tomorrow afternoon for cervical ripening and my induction is scheduled for Friday! Will update sometime next week. :)