A Single Woman's Journey To Motherhood


Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Let it snow?

What?? Where am I? I live in the Pacific Northwest! It is only supposed to snow MAYBE once a year! And here we are on the second morning I woke up to snow in 3 days!

Unfortunately, not enough snow today to warrant a late start at school, so off I go.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Told the kids..

So, last weekend at the Pancake breakfast, the woman who is co-advising this class with me, said to a student, "I have a gift for Ms. *" and I looked at her and said "I haven't told students yet." But at that point, it was too late, and the student says, "what?" So, I told him that I was having a baby and he was excited and asked no further questions.

Of course, at that point, the other teacher says, well you know you have to tell the rest of your kids now...and so it began.

On Monday, I decided it was time. At the end of both of my second year classes, we played hangman with my news as the puzzle. I timed it so that there would be very little time after that so as not to answer too many questions. At lunch, a couple girls asked me if it were a girl or a boy and they seemed very excited. After school, a student came to see me to tell me that there was a rumor that I was pregnant and told her I was. LOL. I survived the first day...

But on Tuesday, a student asked me the question I was dreading..."Are you married, Miss *?" I mumbled no, and went about doing what I was doing...hoping that she couldn't see my heart beating frantically in my chest and my fast prayers that there be no more questions...

So, the cat is out of the bag, at least with my second year classes (I have decided that the rumor mill will tell the other students LOL). I survived and so far there have been no angry parent phone calls or emails, to me anyway. Hopefully the office will also be spared.

Of course, I am thrilled to be pregnant, and if I could explain myself, I wouldn't be as embarassed as I am now...because OF COURSE the students think that I got pregnant the usual way...

Adventures in shopping...

I am not much of a shopper...I hate crowded stores, I have a horrible time making decisions, and I generally do one of two things: look and can not decide so leave with nothing, or buy on a whim usually because I have waited so long to buy something it is now becoming a necessity..

I decided that with the baby coming and everything, I probably really need to start gathering things needed for a baby joining your house and that perhaps I could find some of these things on sale during the day after Thanksgiving day sales. So, in that vein, I braved the pouring rain and dangerous roads (at one point the water splashed up in front of my windshield and I couldn't see anything as the car started skidding in a rut filled with water...luckily, no accident).

Mom had told me yesterday that Walmart had some baby things on sale so I started there. Walmart is either 15 minutes away or 20 minutes away depending on which city I go to (oddly, there isn't a walmart in my city). I decided to go to the bigger store thinking it may have more things. I got there, found a parking spot, and started my trek into the store. The water was so high in places that my pants were soaked up to my knees!!! (to clarify the water didn't come up to my knees, probably just above my ankles, but I guess the splash from walking or whatever soaked the backs of my legs...) I was not much of a happy camper, but I continued. Inside it wasn't too bad except near the electronics where it was an absolute nightmare to get through. I contemplated buying a cheap stand-up mixer for like 25 dollars or something because I thought that would be great, but realized I have no space in my kitchen for one more thing...I made my way to the baby department. I looked at everything but clothes (I am sure this baby will have more clothes than it will possibly be able to wear as my mom loves to buy clothes...and I already have a lot of cute onesies and a couple outfits that I have bought over the years in all sizes...). I didn't find anything on sale really and was a bit disappointed. I left there buying some spatulas (need them for our icing making every October in preparation of Day of the Dead), some baby socks because I realized I have none and saw them on some baby necessity list, and something else which I can't remember...A bit disappointing.

After making my way all the back to my car in the big puddles with my soaking legs, I drove back to my house, stopping for a decaf latte at Safeway Starbucks on my way. It was only about 9:30 and I wasn't sure the other store I wanted to go to would be open yet. Besides, I needed some time to dry off and warm up.

Around 11:00 or so, I headed out to Burlington Coat Factory, about 20 minutes away in the other direction. Mom had told me that they had a bunch of cribs there, so I wanted to check them out. I was surprised to see such a collection of cribs, actually a larger selection than is on their website. I found a couple that I liked at a reasonable price. I am torn between a crib that is only a crib and a 3-1 or 5-1 crib. Origianlly I thought it would be a good idea to get the 5-1, but the more I think about it, I think that I will probably not use the double bed anyway for my kid as I hope to have two children and have such a small room that they will need bunk beds...Plus, I would not be able to fit a crib and a double bed in the same room, but hopefulyl I could fit a crib and a single in there...

Anyway, I digress. They had quite a few cribs that I was happy with. My preference is for a natural crib and it must have a drop side. I found their prices to be similar to those at Babies R Us (BRU) for cribs, but not necessarily for the accessories like the changing tables and dressers. The two cribs I liked best were a 3-1 and a 5-1 and were 190-220 dollars. The cheaper one (3-1) had only a matching changing table from what I could see. The changing table was nice enough and a decent price at 99. The other crib had a matching combo table (flat surface for changing pad, drawers, and a taller "drawer/cupboard" on the side) for 200 or so. I opened the tall drawer/cupboard fully expecting it to either be one big cupboard (for the diaper pail or something) or two shelves. Nope, it was drawers attached to the door rendering the bottom drawer absolutely useless in my opinion because it is very difficult to access. All other dressers, armoires, etc in the natural colour were 400+. The real kicker was I asked the lady at the baby registry table how you purchase the cribs and she said you order them and they take 3 months to arrive. I was like, wow, I need to decide now then. But felt way too pressured and left with nothing.

So, now I am left needing to return to Babies R Us to compare prices. I am suspecting that everything together is going to be cheaper at BRU since I am pretty sure I can find a decent dresser for less than 400. Plus, I called them when I got home from Burlington Coat Factory to see how long it takes to order things there, and they said usually 7-10 business days, but rarely longer than a month. That puts my mind a little more at ease...

This is a time I really wish I had close friends out here, or even my mom because I need someone to help me decide what to do, what to buy!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

For Kim (verityh)

Ingredients in the Quaker Oatmeal Muffin Mix...if you develop a good recipe with these ingredients, please share! I know nothing about taking the ingredients and making them into the recipe...LOL

Flour, brown sugar, rolled oats, cane sugar, vegetable oil shortening, sodium bicarbonate, salt, monocalcium phosphate, spices, articial flavour.

Mmmm..I want some muffins now! LOL

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Growing up, I HATED being an only child (or lonely child as I called it). I swore up and down that I would have two or more children or none at all, there was no way I was going to put my child through that.

But then, I also envisioned a husband, and a lot of what I hated as an only child will probably be quite different in a single mom family...Still, I love children and continue to hope for more than one.

I have been putting off buying extra vials of my donor for some unknown reason. I wasn't sure how many to buy. Do I buy 6 vials assuming/hoping I can get pregnant again within 6 tries as I did this last time (yes, it was only the 5th IUI though so technically I only used 5 vials)? Do I buy 12 in case I want two more children? Do I buy none and just choose another donor?

When do I start trying for #2? I thought I wanted to have my children fairly close in age so that they could play together and have something in common...but on the other hand, can I really afford two children in child care?

So many questions and I just don't know the answers. However, today I finally called the bank and discovered that the 80 vials they had of my donor this summer has dwindled to 36, and on a whim I purchased 6 vials to put in storage. I hope that was the right answer...

Friday, November 18, 2005

Most likely a girl...

That is what the sonographer said. Actually, the first time he looked (at the beginning of the ultrasound) he said "it might be a girl". Near the end of the ultrasound he looked again and this time, he said "it's most likely a girl". I think it is probably a girl too based on what I could see when he was looking...So I am still thinking pink!

So, yeah, I had my fetal echocardiogram today and all appears to be well with the baby's heart, and everything else seems good as well. Baby seems to be the right size and everything so that is good. While we were waiting for the ultrasound, there were two little girls (4 and 7) waiting for their mom who was having an ultrasound. They were the cutest little girls ever and the oldest one was named the girl name I have chosen. That seemed pretty cool. :)

After the ultrasound, I met with the perinatologist and he seemed a little concerned about my blood sugars until he realized I was testing 1 hour after eating as opposed to two hours...Still, given diabetes, I am to come in every 4 weeks for a quick growth ultrasound and to meet with the perinatologist. He also drew labs to check that my thyroid is at the correct dosage.


Follow up to the church post below. I emailed the pastor on Monday and within about an hour or so, he called. We talked for probably about 20 minutes or so. He asked if I minded if they put me and the baby on a prayer list and also told me that they like to throw baby showers for new babies and someone from the fellowship committee would contact me about that. Apparently, there are also 3 other women currently pregnant at the church and he said he would try and get me in touch with other women with young children. It sounds promising...let's hope this is it!


Pancake breakfast tomorrow. I have to be there at 7:00 am, but the woman with whom I co-advise this class has to leave early (11:30), so I told her then I would come in a little later...not likely to happen since I am such a freak about being early, but at least I will probably arrive there at like 7:00 instead of 6:30 this way. LOL

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Church this morning

I have been attending the last mentioned Lutheran church now for the past three weeks. This is the one after the one where they were so incredibly friendly. This one, the pastor is friendly, but the congregation isn't so friendly. I am hoping that will eventually change and I have decided to try and stick this one out at lesat until the baby is born and baptized (to make my mom happy), and then if I still feel the need to change again, I will start searching again. There are kids at this church, but not a whole lot of kids, but I have only attended the early service with the "contemporary" worship and perhaps the traditional service has more kids?

In any case, as I mentioned the pastor has been friendly. The first Sunday I was there, there was a guest pastor. However, the following Sunday, the regular pastor was there and as we were leaving (in Lutheran churches you shake the pastor's hand on your way out), he said he hadn't seen me before and when I told him it was my second week there he said he was glad I had come back and if I would like to talk to give him a call.

Well, if you know me, you likely know that I am pretty shy and uncomfortable calling people I don't know, so naturally, I did not call.

Then, this week, was Communion Sunday. When it was time for me to go up, the tray had only one type of cup on it. I asked if it was juice (because the previous Lutheran church I had been to..the one with all the friendly seniors, had both juice and wine), but he told me they were out of juice and it was wine. I mentioned that I was pregnant and took a cup (what do you do at that point? LOL, I felt rather awkward). I took a tiny tiny sip/drop, and left the majority in the cup as I left the altar (nowadays you are often given little tiny cups, but the two Lutheran churches I have been to lately have had the option of either chalice or tiny individual cup). As we were leaving this Sunday, he told me that he did not know I was pregnant and that I must call him to get on the list...What list, I thought, but instead what came out of my mouth was, "There is a list for pregnant people?" LOL...oh, I am so eloquent some days.

In any case, perhaps I will try and call this week...make sure he knows that this is a very wanted and anticipated pregnancy and not a crisis pregnancy as perhaps he may think.

Insulin update - I have survived giving myself the needle, and have found it really not to be bad at all. I honestly don't even feel the needle going in. On Thursday, I spoke with an administrator at school, and we decided the best place for my needles (because it could lock) was the nurse's office which also happens to have a fridge. That is good for now, but I am worried that one weekend I will forget to bring the bottle home and there is no way for me to get into the nurse's office on the weekend (I don't have a key to that room as it is in the main office).

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The time has come...

Unfortunately, the time as come much quicker than I had thought. In fact, I had some high hopes that with my body responding well to the glyburide that the time for the dreaded needles would never come. No such luck.

I had been concerned about my lunch blood sugars for a couple weeks and even called the doctor last week knowing I had an appointment one week later. They have been low before lunch (like in the 60s and 70s when they should be 80-100) and very high after lunch, like in the 165-195 range! So, at my appointment today where the doctor thought my blood pressure was good at 133/78 (I was concerned but he wasn't), the OB decided it was time for some fast acting insulin with lunch. This is the worst meal of the day to do this as it means carting needles, syringes and insulin to school Monday-Friday and remembering to bring all these same things home on the weekend. Plus, just the logistics of where do I do this? It involves exposing at least a very tiny area of my belly and there is a class in my room during lunch...There is nowhere really to keep everything in the faculty room, so this is yet to be determined. And, unfortunately, it was not the pen nor the other easy method of giving insulin, but rather the old needle, syringe and bottle or insulin...

Sigh. I will survive, and baby had a good heartbeat of 148bpm today and I gained one pound in the past month. That is good that I gained, and great that it was only one pound. :)