A Single Woman's Journey To Motherhood


Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

You didn't say no?

Saturday we went to a family get together and on the way home,

Eliana informs me "I want to watch one show before bed."

I replied, "OK, what do you want to watch?"

She responds, incredulously, "you didn't say no??"

LOL, guess someone has been hearing that a lot lately, yikes!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

That makes me so happy.

Eliana has been having a rough time with dropoffs at the sitter's lately. Ever since she was sick last Monday and I stayed home with her, she thinks it is an option to stay home every day. So, she cries and screams and throws a tantrum as I am dropping her off (I often get a similar tantrum when we go home in the afternoon because she doesn't want to LEAVE LOL). Anyway, yesterday was a pretty bad scene with her screaming and running after me, so as I left, the sitter picked her up and when she calmed down they talked about it.

Sitter: Where does mama go when she leaves here?
Eliana: Home to play.
Sitter: No, mama has to go to work to earn money for your toys, and your food and your clothes.

Eliana was satisfied with that and went on her day fairly happy. After school, I picked her up and this was our conversation on the way home, initiated completely by Eliana:

Eliana: you went to school to earn money?
Me: Yes, I work at school so that we can have a house, and food, and toys.
Eliana: Oh. That makes me sooo happy.


Saturday, October 18, 2008

Eliana at the beach

I found Eliana in the bathroom today with the potty around her legs, apparently to be prepared at the beach! LOL. Before I got the camera, she told me it was for the water, but on camera she tells me it was just a potty for the beach. LOL

Anna and Eliana Dancing part 2

More dancing, including Eliana's "river dance" which Theresa taught her.

Anna and Eliana Dancing Princesses

Eliana and Anna dressed up in princess dresses and dancing..sigh, we will sure miss them.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Decisions, decisions

I have 4 unused vials of Eliana and Jacob's donor. Every half sibling family that I know of wants them, but I just don't know what to do. I have two beautiful children who I love very much, but I can't help but think I would love a third a couple years down the road (not until Eliana started school most likely..can't afford childcare for 3). My mom is very against it, doesn't want me to risk my life as I do have two beautiful children who need a mother. However, i can't help but think I wouldn't be risking my life. I would know this time going in that I could have clotting problems and I would be on blood thinners from the very beginning...

I keep going over this in my head, but every time I encounter a pregnant lady, I so want to go through one more pregnancy. I love being pregnant, even despite all the hassles of the millions of appointments. I love feeling the baby move inside of me and once he/she arrives holding them close, watching them grow, watching their personalities form...

I have told myself that if I can get into better shape in the next two years I can consider it seriously, but if not, it IS probably too risky. So, to those of you hoping for those 4 vials, I am sorry, but you are going to have to wait another 2 years before I make that final decision. If that means I have noone to sell them to in a couple years, oh well, I don't think I will regret the couple hundred dollars it cost to save that dream for now.

BTW, I am home with a sick child today, not just skipping school to celebrate thanksgiving. :) Happy thankgsgiving to my Canadian friends.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Long overdue update

In a word, September was CRAZY. You know how I said I wasn't 100% happy with the babysitter...well, it got worse and worse until one day she met up with the former sitter to go to the park, and I can't find any reason for the former sitter (who is my friend)to lie about what happened. Long list of things she was concerned of but this did it, I fired her the very next day. She went to the bathroom, in a public park, and told my kids to wait outside!!!!!!!!! My heart stopped when former sitter told me this. She was in the bathroom (in a stall) with her own daughter so you can't even give the sitter the benefit of the doubt that she thought someone else was watching out for them. So, I fired her and then began my search for another sitter. We now have a new sitter who I like right now. I feel 100% happy with her and it feels much like the previous setup where she is just watching her kids and mine. Her kids are 3 and 16 months. They go out to library storytime, visit their grandma, to the park, etc. Yes, I have to wake up the kids and take them to her, but at least they are safe.

Since leaving bad sitter behind, Eliana has made huge strides with her potty training. She can stay dry for long periods of time and let you know when she needs to go pee (not so much with the other yet..). I have even braved a few outings with her in panties and we have not had any accidents. The downside to this is that she is waking up at night time wanting to go potty...not so good for me. LOL.

Jacob LOVES cereal. His spitting up had seemed to get better when we moved to the lactose free formula, but it came back with a vengeance this past month. At his 4 month appointment, the ped told me to give it a few more days and if it continued to add cereal to his bottle and/or by spoon. Well, I have it 3 weeks and it didn't get better so we tried it by spoon. Night and day difference between Eliana's first cereal feeding and Jacob's. Eliana cried and scrunched up her face and looked at me like I had tortured her. Jacob cried when we finished the cereal...he wanted more! LOL. So, we are currently at 2-3 feedings of cereal a day. I hadn't planned on starting solids until 5.5 months like I did with Eliana, but since he likes it (and it was recommended...though it hasn't stopped the spitting up, but it is a little less) we will stick with this for a couple more weeks and start adding some baby food. Not sure if I will make his like I did Eliana. It is kinda too late I think to get a bunch of fruit at the fruit stand...guess I should try but no idea when I will ahve time.

Someone posted a comment wondering if I was off making friends. Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I have made new friends, but I am keeping busy. I have been regularly attending the Wednesday night parenting class at Big church. I have also joined a small group there that meets 2 Sunday evenings a week. Plus, I have been doing the MOPS thing. Love MOPS by the way. :) The parenting class has been interesting though I really am not meeting people there. The small group starts up tomorrow night.

So, I have been very busy and absolutely exhausted lately. Add to that Eliana has finally figured out and perfected getting out of her crib. Last night she refused to go to sleep...took about 2.5 hours to get her to sleep (on her floor..she refused to sleep in her crib), then a couple hours later she woke up, took off her pjs and diaper and came into my room to tell me she needed to go potty...this was repeated 3 times...the last time she crawled into bed with me...I got little sleep last night. Hoping tonight is better!