Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Decisions, decisions

I have 4 unused vials of Eliana and Jacob's donor. Every half sibling family that I know of wants them, but I just don't know what to do. I have two beautiful children who I love very much, but I can't help but think I would love a third a couple years down the road (not until Eliana started school most likely..can't afford childcare for 3). My mom is very against it, doesn't want me to risk my life as I do have two beautiful children who need a mother. However, i can't help but think I wouldn't be risking my life. I would know this time going in that I could have clotting problems and I would be on blood thinners from the very beginning...

I keep going over this in my head, but every time I encounter a pregnant lady, I so want to go through one more pregnancy. I love being pregnant, even despite all the hassles of the millions of appointments. I love feeling the baby move inside of me and once he/she arrives holding them close, watching them grow, watching their personalities form...

I have told myself that if I can get into better shape in the next two years I can consider it seriously, but if not, it IS probably too risky. So, to those of you hoping for those 4 vials, I am sorry, but you are going to have to wait another 2 years before I make that final decision. If that means I have noone to sell them to in a couple years, oh well, I don't think I will regret the couple hundred dollars it cost to save that dream for now.

BTW, I am home with a sick child today, not just skipping school to celebrate thanksgiving. :) Happy thankgsgiving to my Canadian friends.


Blogger Deb said...

I totally understand that line of thinking. If you don't think your family is complete than hanging on to those vials is a good choice.

Hope the little one feels better soon.

October 13, 2008 10:30 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I think that's such a smart thing to do. I hope your little one feels better soon :)

October 13, 2008 11:22 AM  
Blogger Shannie said...

I'm so glad you "found" me. I have sent you two emails but I don't think my gmail account will send to your yahoo account (had this problem in the past).

You are wise to hold off and wait until you know for sure sweetie. Can you email me? Do you still have the addy? If not, I will get it to you through FF.

I have missed talking to you and have so much to tell you.


October 13, 2008 12:55 PM  
Blogger Kimmyann said...

If you are unsure then hang onto them for now. You can always donate them in a few years if you change your mind.

October 13, 2008 6:00 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Just found your blog. I am in the same situation right now. I have a 10-year old daughter from a previous marriage and a 6 month old baby boy I conceived through donor insem/IUI. My family is against me having another baby because I too have a clotting problem. But I am really thinking that I'm 'just not done yet.' It's so hard, you're right, the child care is really a huge factor in the decision.

November 12, 2008 10:42 AM  

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