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Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Monday, August 16, 2004

Cruel hopes...

OK. So I have firmly decided that I am working hard on my weight and then whatever I weigh in spring/summer, who cares as long as it is less than now, and I am starting. That is my plan.

Or it was.

Or it is.

Haha.

Here's a cruel joke for you....let's say that "K" wants to have a baby...Originally when she is young she believes that by 21 she will be married and by 30 she will have had at least 3 kids and be a happily married stay at home mom.

Yeah right.

Now, "K" is nearing 30, single, and that damn clock is ticking so loud she thinks she has really fallen off her rocker. So, she decides she is going to adopt. She buys every book known to man about adoption and contacts agencies across the country trying to find the right fit (one that will accept singles and is within her means). Then one day, she thinks, hey, I can try to get pregnant first. So she buys every book known to man on infertility, artificial insemination, pregnancy, single motherhood. She makes plans to begin as soon as she financially (and emotionally) can.

Meanwhile, somewhere out there is some barely known relative of hers, young, and having her third baby. She decides she can't take being a mother of 3 at 18 (K isn't too sure of her age...it's around there). She leaves newest little baby boy at 8 weeks old with her grandma. Grandma is 70 and not sure she can take care of a little baby and talks to her sister. Her sister is so distraught over the whole situation and tells her niece or whatever relation "P" is. "P" mulls this over and decides, yes, let's do the worst possible thing we can do...let's get "K"s hopes up...let's tell her the story about this little baby....and she calls "K" and asks her if she would be interested.....

What happens to "K"? I am sure you are wondering.....last I saw her, K was trying not to think about baby while curiously cleaning her house like there is no tomorrow and forgetting about the 4 papers she has due this week.

I feel bad for "K". I know that her little heart can't help but hope..and yet, she isn't ready. She has two more quarters of school to finish, her job restarts in two weeks, baby's room hasn't even been opened in a month....and yet...I know she is hoping and praying that little baby N might find his way to her home.....

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