Name:
Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Friday, July 22, 2005

Very cautious...

I was just informed that I have not been fulfilling my duties to the blogging world. LOL.

I haven't posted much as I don't have much to say, but at the same time, I have lots going on. That is to say, my life is my normal, quiet, somewhat boring summer life with no obligations. However, it is not a normal summer...it is the summer that I am pregnant.

But am I?

I know, I know. My blood tests were great. My HPTs were clearly positive, I even took another one on Wed night and the test line was dark before the control line even showed up.

But, I feel no symptoms. I am sometimes tired, but I could easily explain that with lack of activity (always makes me tired to do nothing..) And, I do have to pee a lot, but I am a diabetic, and I am home and always drink more when I am home...

I don't have any bleeding, I don't have any cramping (well, I have had a couple sharp pains, but they last less than a second and go away...), I have no nausea, no morning sickness, nothing.

Everyone says count your blessings! it seems that everyone I know was sick from day one...but you know what, it really doesn't help to hear that right now cause I am constantly questioning whether there really is a baby in there at all.

I have kept a journal for my baby for about a year and a half. I haven't written in it very often, I talked about the two babies last summer when I was wondering if they were my babies, and then I left an entry saying that I was going to try and get pregnant before adopting. But, I can't bring myself to write in the journal now..not just yet, not before I know there really is something.

You know, I have followed countless infertility blogs for over a year and as some of you were fortunate enough to get pregnant, I listened as you recounted these same fears. I felt for these women, but I never really understood it until now...

Monday seems an eternity away...

4 Comments:

Anonymous reprogirl said...

I'm sure you've been told this, and I don't know how much it helps, but it's completely normal not to have symptoms - especially this early. It doesn't mean anything at all. I know it's so hard to know what to think about it in these tentative early stages. I'd say this: whatever happens, you have a growing seed of life inside you right now. It's an amazing experience just knowing that, and a brand new one. Enjoy, don't hold back from enjoying it because it's so scary (I know it is), and tell us all about it!

July 22, 2005 6:13 PM  
Blogger Deb2You2 said...

Hang in there! I know...the "it's too good to be true" and "what if I'm really not, etc.". If you will remember, I was the queen of that...don't think I outgrew that until I hit the third tri I think and even then I get worried sometimes. LOL. Hang in there, u/s tomorrow which will help, but..no matter what anyone says about being glad you don't have them...I loved my preg. sysmptoms..puking and all. LOL. Deb

July 24, 2005 7:29 PM  
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