Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Monday, June 13, 2005

I'd forget my head...

I swear I would forget my head if it wasn't attached...

I went to Costco this afternoon because there was a coupon for a vcd/dvd player combo thing that was like 25 dollars off and therefore only came to like 75 dollars or something like that and I thought I could used that for school.

Yesterday I went to the market to pick up some fruit and veggies and found pitas on sale so thought I would make souvlaki tonight once I bought tzatziki at Costco.

I went to Costco. I bought the dvd/vcr thing. I forgot to use the coupon. I forgot to buy tzatziki...

Oh man, somehow I must make it through these next 7 days and finish grades! LOL

On the TTC front, I started my Clomid yesterday. I was actually quite leery about it thinking, well, what if I didn't lose the baby...I mean, sure I had AF, but it wasn't really that heavy or anything, and I know of women who bleed throughout pregnancy (in my extended family even, you may recall the second baby last summer...). So, I took an HPT to reassure me it was OK to take the Clomid...but I SWEAR it was very faintly positive. I had a little panic and didn't know what I should do, but in the end, I decided my RE was just so sure that it was over, and my number was really really low (I think it was betabase the lowest beta at 16dpo that achieved a live birth was 5 I the odds were stacked against us), so I am trusting her and I began the Clomid. Now, I am just trying to focus on growing some nice new follicles!

ETA: I am finding it weird to think that I had a miscarriage...does that seem strange? I mean, I know that technically, I did, but on the other hand, most women would never have even known..I mean, I was like one day late I think, that was it...I go back and forth on this...happy that something is at least working somewhat, sad that it didn't last, worried that I need to figure out what to do to hold on to the next one, and sometimes I get excited about this next cycle and next opportunity, and then I feel kind of guilty, like I should be more sad over the last is all so confusing.


Anonymous Michelle said...

I once read that a lot of women have miscarriages and they never know it because it happens so early. I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I hope this is the cycle for you. And if you don't feel sad, and you feel excited, then that is good too.

June 13, 2005 8:17 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

I don't think there's any certain way you should feel, so there's definitely no reason to be guilt-ridden over being excited. It is a bit of a sense of amazement to realise that your body could be capable of pregnancy. I felt that way when I first became pregnant.

I'm still thinking positive thoughts for you and hope that this cycle is the one for you. :)

June 14, 2005 2:20 PM  
Blogger Deb2You2 said...

I hear you on forgetting. I found out yesterday that I forgot to pay my morgage this month. How did that happen? LOL. Luckily, I was able to pay by phone and avoid late fee's. Yikes.

Hoping that you have moved well into your cycle and building lots of good follicles (or just the one that will work:).


June 16, 2005 12:36 PM  

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