Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Random ramblings...

I really have spent way too much time on my blog today. It appears that every minute of every day I need to be obsessing over something or another. Today it was my blog....not a good thing since I have papers to write.

I also got another undescribable urge to clean and swept and mopped the floors while listening to soaps. I wish that I would get these urges to clean every house would be so clean!!! haha. Maybe I would even be unpacked;)

I have done a fairly good job today of not thinking about not thinking about Baby N. I have come to believe that this is not my baby since I have not heard back from the family...My aunt who originally asked me about it called the grandmother right after asking me and the grandmother said she would think about bringing it up with Alexis. So, I am not horribly devastated either...which I thought I might be when this whole thing began. Really, it just means my original plans are back in order..:) Of course, I will update any faithful readers if things change.

I have tried to write my paper today for my Teaching Reading class as you may have noticed. I am getting nowhere. I hate procrastinating this badly...Because of my procrastination I wasn't able to participate in the Extra Credit Forum either...something that might have made it possible for me keep my A in this I am definitely looking at an A- or worse..a big fat F if I don't get this paper done. It is due tomorrow, but I have to finish tonight since I have two more assignments due tomorrow and one more big paper due on Friday....grrrr

Well, I must go. Please drop me a note if you are reading....I can use some encouragement tonight. :)


Blogger Tin Foiled said...

Oh no -- I stop looking for a second and all of a sudden there are a million new posts!

I blame the browser. Sometimes the new posts don't come up when I type in the URL unless I do a complete Shift-Refresh. I doubt very much that I haven't checked since Friday!

Anyway, it looks like a lot is going on.

1. I always get the urge to clean when I have something else more important to do. I think it's Man vs. His Environment (substitute appropriate pronouns for the gentler sex). You feel out of control so you master what you can.

2. It's probably too late for my advice, but I'll give it anyway! Spend two hours doing nothing but the outline of your paper. No music or TV or non-study books or cleaning or snacks or cats or browsing. In fact, unplug that internet. When the outline is done, everything else will fall into place!

3. Good attitude about weight loss! I don't really know how to explain how I felt when I read your list. I don't like to think about dieting and weight, because it's been such a sensitive topic for my entire life. I was a bit surprised at the things that are stressful for you -- it must have been hard to write so openly.

I'm very happy that you're approaching this seriously and with some motivation, and I completely support you!

4. Baby N is a surprise. Whether the time is right is immaterial -- I can't imagine that they frequently arrive on schedule.

Hypothetically, would you be legally adopting the baby? That's entirely a different story for the birth mother. Maybe she felt giving it to her grandmother was a bit like "layaway" until she could cope a bit better, when she was older.

Would you be able (emotionally) to be able to take the baby if you couldn't legally adopt it?

It's very complicated. It makes your original plans seem so much more straightforward (if less timely!)

I'll remember to press the refresh button from now on, and please give yourself a big hug from me, too far away to ask you for coffee. All my best!

August 19, 2004 8:52 AM  

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