A Single Woman's Journey To Motherhood: So frustrated

About Me

Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

So frustrated

Well, I am so frustrated...I have done fairly well I think with holding up and staying positive through these past 2 weeks, but I just broke down today when they said Jacob couldn't go home because he missed his goal by something like 7 mililiters...7 freaking mililiters...They are so focused on those numbers (total mililiters of food intake) and I think it is ridiculous...and then this morning we had the nurse we dont like because she really doesnt seem to try very hard, and I can almost 99% guarantee Jacob is also not coming home tomorrow (on Friday, we were told probably Sunday or Monday, yesterday we were told probably tuesday...).

I am not sure I can take it anymore...I was just so weepy today, I want my son home and I honestly am starting to feel like they are holding him hostage at the NICU...

8 Comments:

Mel said...: Hi Katrina, I've been reading your blog for some time now, but I don't think I've ever commented. You have been a big inspiration to me in your journey to single motherhood. You are just amazing. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I have no idea what you must be going through but I am thinking of you and I'll keep you and Jacob in my prayers.
Melanie; May 19, 2008 9:47 PM
Deb said...: I'm sorry that Jacob still isn't home. Sounds like it will be very soon though. Hang in there!; May 20, 2008 5:18 AM
Jann said...: I am thinking of you Katrina and I will be praying that Jacob comes home today! I am so sorry about the NICU struggles - 2 steps forward and one back it seems some days.; May 20, 2008 7:33 AM
Amy said...: Came over from stirrup queen's - wanted to say I could have written this post (I felt one of my twins was held hostage in the NICU over eating and remember being so frustrated by a nurse who just didn't try very hard with him). It is so hard. Hang in there!; May 20, 2008 5:47 PM
Miss X said...: Katrina, I'm praying for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but he will be home soon and this will be a distant memory.

Hang in there!; May 20, 2008 7:11 PM
Shinejil said...: I am so sorry you're dealing with this waiting and frustration. I hope Jacob comes home very, very soon.; May 21, 2008 10:19 AM
DebbieDJ said...: Hi Katrina, it's Debbie from ELL class. It's been a long time. For some reason I thought of you tonight, googled your blog, and discovered you now have two babies! Congratulations! How's this for crazy - while you were having that c-section, I was celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday - our children are birthday twins! Get ready for many years of Pinata birthday parties...I am so sorry about Jacob's rough start, it must have been excruciating for you. As it has been a few days since your post, I am hoping that all is now well, and you are now all at home together adjusting to being a family of three. Take care.; May 24, 2008 8:45 PM
tammy said...: {{hugs}} Katrina. i hope you've got both your babies at home now.

i was on the same NICU boat with my little one. don't be disappointed in yourself for 'breaking down'. you need to let go sometimes. mine happened earlier, on NICU day 5 when i was discharged, had my 1 year old at home with strep and was 'leaving' my little one there. i ended up staying in a parent-room at the hospital that night which was good though it was still difficult with leaving Cole.

'nuf about me! you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.; May 25, 2008 9:12 PM