Location: Washington, United States

I began my TTC journey in January 2005. It finally worked with the 5th IUI and along came Eliana! I started trying for a second (T42) a little over a year later, and was thrilled to get pregnant on the second try this time. Jacob soon joined our family! Not sure if I am done at two, but come along for my journey in motherhood. If you stop by, please leave me a short note! I like to know when I have visitors. :)

Sunday, April 20, 2008


I am having a lot of stress this weekend and just need to vent somewhere.

On Friday, I found out that my student teacher did not pass her exam (again) and so will not be eligible to be my sub. Very sad since it would have been the best situation for everyone..she knows the kids, knows how our classroom works, etc. So now, I am stuck trying to find someone on my own and I dont even begin to know how to do this. On top of that, I had pretty much planned to stop work on May 2nd (two weeks) since I switch to Heparin on April 30th and will need to go in for daily blood tests 4 hours after one of my 3 shots to check dosage...that on top of my daily appoitnments, etc...and I just didnt think I could handle working all day on top of that. So again, this leaves me only 2 weeks to find someone..and the only work day between now and May 2nd that I DONT have an appoitnment immediately after school is April 29th, and I had hoped to spend that day meeting with a sub to go over how things work in my room and where we are at, etc...My department head seems to have no interest AT ALL in helping other than she gave me a list of 5 subs she knows who speak Spanish. No contact information for them, so I coudlnt do any of that this weekend...and then when I said I dont know when I am going to ahve time for this, she just said "I dont have time either". Very, very stressed...I am SO glad that I have pushed my kids all year to be ahead of where I am usually...because it could be that they get no instruction for these last 6 weeks of school...I honestly feel like going to my OB appoitnment this week and asking to be put on leave now, just so I dont have to deal with this...but I cant do that..

Second, I am stressed over bottles. I had planned on using the same bottles I used with Eliana which were highly recommended for breastfeeding moms and ELiana went back and forth between breast and bottle without a single problem...but now they say they are bad and have BPA...I dont know what to do instead and for some reason it seems just overwhelming to decide on a new bottle. Not to mention expensive since I have a ton of bottles! And I never heated her bottles anyway, so not sure how much of a concern it really is...

And third, just very emotional right now. yesterday while organizing clothes in Jacob's room I came across a bag that my mom had left of new clothes she bought and brought down at Spring break "in case someone gave me a shower". I feel so sad that I am not having a shower for this baby...Eliana had 5 showers and was so wanted and loved and anticipated, I feel like it is just not fair for this little guy. And at work last week someone asked me if I was having a shower and it was so awkward...I mean, noone organizes their OWN shower, so how would that happen??

OK, thanks for letting me vent.


Blogger Kristi-Anna said...

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so stressed. Can you go to your principal and request assistance with finding a supply for your class while on mat leave? Personally, I don't think that it should be your responsibility at all!! What if you suddenly went on leave TOMORROW due to complications or Jacob arriving early etc... they'd find someone!

As for showers, don't feel so bad about that. It's not that Jacob is not as loved, wanted or anticipated as Eliana was! Showers for any baby but the first are not the norm. They figure you have all the gear you need from the first baby (or two or three etc). My experience is that folks will bring you gifts (and meals, maybe?) when the baby arrives and they come visiting. :)

April 20, 2008 1:46 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Aw wow, that really stinks that your dept head won't help out. Hopefully it gets sorted out quickly. Don't have any advice about the bottles. I agree with PP, many people think that a second shower is not necessary. Hopefully you will be gifted with many boy things when he arrives and as it gets closer.

Hang in there!

April 20, 2008 7:15 PM  
Blogger Tanya said...

I agree with the others - it is NOT your responsibility to find a replacement. So don't. (Yeah, easy for me to say).

As for the bottles - we've been hearing all about it over here (in Australia). I wondered if you heated the milk then poured it into the bottle, if that would have the same effect? Surely it would lessen the effect? From what I understand the problem only arises when the bottles are heated so you may not have any problems anyway.

Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy - hopefully the stress eases soon.

April 21, 2008 1:04 AM  
Blogger Gidgit said...

I can't say I understand what you are going through, I can only imagine that is is hell! I do know that my sister had 5 babies in 7 years and only had 2 showers because she had 4 girls in a row. This last baby was a premie and her soon to be ex husabands work gave a shower for baby Isabelle.

April 22, 2008 7:54 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

I am so sorry your Dept Head is taking this type of roll...none at all. You DON"T need this type od stress and that person should actively be helping. If you suddenlt went out...they would be forced to do it...why not help with placement now, in prepartion. So sorry you ahve to go through this at all. I hope you have had some good news since this post.
Glad to see you posting again....

April 22, 2008 7:20 PM  

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