Torn...

Since writing my first post, I have discovered a new discussion board. This board is just for single mothers by choice. It is great to hear all of the success stories and to empathize with those still waiting.

However, they have planted a seed of doubt in me. Not about being a single parent, I am still determined to do that. But about pregnancy.

The truth is I have dreamt of being pregnant for as long as I can remember. My mom even recounts that when I was very young, I wanted a baby in my tummy for Christmas. I can't remember a time that I have not longed to feel a baby growing inside of me.

So why didn't I think of it sooner?

I did. Sort of. I considered it and decided against it for two reasons: 1. I thought my parents would be against it (I don't know whether that is true or not) and 2. I thought it was very very expensive.

However, I spent the weekend looking it up on net, and other than embryo adoption it is cheaper than adoption!

So now I am torn. I had my life all planned out with saving and starting the adoption process next summer...but now there is at least a little bit of hope of giving birth! Granted, I likely have fertility issues to deal with, and it would likely be frowned upon at work (I work in a high school), but I don't know anymore.

I am supposed to see the gyno in the fall and I might at least inquire about it. I know that my health insurance does not cover infertility, but then again, they don't cover adoption either!

In other news, I have begun another quarter of grad studies today. I am taking three online classes and one on campus. This is my first on campus course with this university. My class is at 7:30 in the morning, isn't that crazy??? Anyway, I was amazed because our professor brought us breakfast of bagels, cream cheese, jam, sausage, juice and strawberries! Maybe that somewhat makes up for the early classes!

Well, off to do some knitting and relaxing!:)