Friends
This is the start of my 7th year here. And in 7 years, I have pretty much lost touch with most of my former friends. I tend to think not through my own doing..I tried to keep in touch through phone or email, but they have busy lives and when you can't get together "in real life", it seems sooner or later you become forgotten..
In those 7 years, I have wanted to meet new friends. I have tried many churches for what I considered an adequate amount of time (minimum 6 months), and yet I have not made one good church friend. I didn't have any friends here until I was pregnant with Eliana. I eventually met another single mom having a little boy and we became friends. We are still friends, but already now at 2, our kids are so different...he is "all boy" and Eliana is "all girl". And then when i went back to work, I found a babysitter for Eliana and while she started out as "just the babysitter", she became a very good friend. The best friend I have had since I don't know when...possibly ever. She was the kind of friend I try to be to people and the kind of friend I have always wanted to have...and that is it. My two friends. And one is leaving...
And now I am back to square one. How do I find another friend? Is it going to take me another 7 years? Why do I have such a hard time making friends?
Sigh...I'm having a rough night, and I think the possible nanny has fallen through and I am back to square one on the childcare front too...it's too much for me right now....
In those 7 years, I have wanted to meet new friends. I have tried many churches for what I considered an adequate amount of time (minimum 6 months), and yet I have not made one good church friend. I didn't have any friends here until I was pregnant with Eliana. I eventually met another single mom having a little boy and we became friends. We are still friends, but already now at 2, our kids are so different...he is "all boy" and Eliana is "all girl". And then when i went back to work, I found a babysitter for Eliana and while she started out as "just the babysitter", she became a very good friend. The best friend I have had since I don't know when...possibly ever. She was the kind of friend I try to be to people and the kind of friend I have always wanted to have...and that is it. My two friends. And one is leaving...
And now I am back to square one. How do I find another friend? Is it going to take me another 7 years? Why do I have such a hard time making friends?
Sigh...I'm having a rough night, and I think the possible nanny has fallen through and I am back to square one on the childcare front too...it's too much for me right now....
posted by Katrina | 8/05/2008 10:37:00 PM
7 Comments:
Hang in there! You are amazing handling single motherhood all on your own. I just had a little boy who is now 7 months and I live with my sister. I often think of you when I try to imagine doing it on my own. I have an easy baby, but still! You will find a good daycare situation, and another friend.
Congratulations on your little boy!
Schelle
It's tough...I feel for you on the friend front. I have some friends, but now that we have a child, it's not the same, and some friendships are changing. And, we just found out that really good friends of ours are also moving away (oh, and I know what you are going through on the childcare front...our super fantastic dayhome person just moved, and the new dayhome is great, but we're going through that adjustment period still and Sebastian isn't so happy). Somehow it will work out though, you'll find a good place for them. And as for the friends, people come and go. Someone else will come along!!
I feel like you are my friend...I check your site often. Thanks for inviting strangers into your life.
As for finding friends, try craiglist. Or meetup.com
Haven't you been taking the kids to outings with other kids? Just strike up conversation with other moms. I have no doubt you'll make friends before too long!
I know how you feel - I've only been in AZ for a few months and am still trying to make friends.
when i worked i had friends at work. they were friends but they were 'work friends'. we had a buy out at work 6 yrs ago and i took it and stayed home with my 2 yr old (i am married). i am an 'older' mom. friends have been hard to come by. the one friend i did have went back to work. as i am 10 to 20+ yrs older than my sons friends moms i am not making a bunch of friends there. good luck to you. some times it just takes a while i guess.
It is hard to make friends!
I think it is hard to make friends with other mothers sometimes because you only have the kids in common.
What about getting a sitter one evening a week and doing an activity you are interested in?
What about a knitting group or a book club? Those types of groups are very chatty and people talk and bond and make friends.
I have been taking an women's exercise class at the pool (not really swimming, but more like stretches) at night (after my kids are asleep, luckily my DH can babysit) and I have made one good friend there. The class lends itself to chatting because you are just sitting in the pool talking and doing the exercises.
Sorry you are having a tough time. I have found that other mommy groups are great.
Good friends are hard to find. But they are out there waiting for you to become their friends.
I have emailed you a few times. Please get in touch with me. My email is the same. If you don't have it go to my blog. Thanks, Heather
Heather - I don;t know what is going on but I dont always get my emails...it is frustrating. I just checked your blog profile, can't see your blog and there is no email posted either. :(
I lost all email addresses when my computer died right after Jacob's birth...
Thatnks everyone for the support and suggestions. I was having a really rough night that day, but am feeling better. I do still have the one friend I had mentioned, so that helps! :) Hopefully I will meet more mom friends in our travels...Great suggestions to join some groups to get out and do things I like. I tried to join a pinochle group a year or so ago, but then they folded. And then I joined a bunko group that decided I wasn't the right fit for them?! That was embarassing. But, I will have to try agian...but it is hard, because it is expensive to hire a sitter too...
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